Boy am I stupid.

• What the heck was I thinking? How dumb could I be? Did I really honestly think that something like that would ever actually work out? How many obvious things could there be to show me what a bad decision I was making? How is it possible that I ignored every single one of them? Because I was selfish! And then my freaking selfishness back fired because of course all the signs that said it was a bad idea were right. And everything came crashing down at once and now I'm upset but there is nothing I can do about it and no one I can talk to about it because even my friends said it was a bad idea. And I didn't listen. Because I was too hung up on what I wanted. I wanted the unattainable and I got it, even though it was still unattainable, really it was just rented. Then the unattainable went back to being 100 percent unattainable and the whole situation just sucks. It sucks I tell you. I hate it. I hate everything.